STANd by Me

Stan...
When she was a kid, schooling... she been compared with the neighbourhood kids.
It doesn't really bother's her as those kids, are friends to her.
The only people who compares were the parents.
She do admit that she never an academic student. Lazy. But worked on drawings.

Till she went to high school to college, she still being compared.
Self-esteem low.
Self-confidence, not found.
The worst was, she did not finish her college, and of course it will embaressed the family so end up, lies been told to the people who known to her that she graduated. Hypocrites.
She don't see anything good in herself, just she's being happy... poor, but happy.

There's times, when she still in secondary school...
Family was broke enough for not having any meal on the table.
She got a habit that was she likes to hide food some where in the house.
Till that day came by without notice, she can't believe how thankful her mother was when she know there's food.
After being down to KL for college, again...
That incident unexpectactly happened...
She called up her sister, and told her there's the last store of food in the room closet.
Being thankful again.

Still,
She got to attached with her first partner, disaster happened...
The first year she in KL... that's the most hardest emotion breaker ever happened.
Partner and family issues.
Break ups, tears apart.
How alone, and frusfrated...
Only she knows.

Till then...
After changing jobs from one to another...
None were the ones, she's happy with.
1st job... had a freaking Singaporean kiasu man...
2nd job, senior taken advantage...
3rd job... well, sales... she been told that she's not persuasive enough... TRUE.
4th job... not being appreciated by the owner...
5th job... current? Being a newbie with a company which fills with workers who work for over 10years in the company and yet, different races... and rumours can spread till far end... Isn't it too much?

She been told that, it's not that they don't understand her...
Is she don't understand herself.
Till then, do she seem lost?
She do know, everyone go through different spaces, different pictures.
She do see herself, prefer to hide and avoid problems.
People see her that...
She prefer fast moveouvre...
She wants good living.

How will that be possible?
She do know that, everything must be earned.
She needs to climb to reach up... not to be given, for not achieving by herself.
She just doesn't understand.
That achieving things...
Need patience and a strong will.
She haven't reached that level for it yet.

Understandable.
Will earned it.